When I heard Caleb and Laura were expecting their first baby (which as of this writing we all know will be a boy) I was thrilled. My thoughts turned to the past and to the future...memories mixed with dreams...memories of Caleb as a little boy and when I think of Caleb I can not help but think of Seth and vice versa. These two boys now men are buried deeply within me...I have always wanted so much for them but as time goes on my desires simply turn to wanting them to just be happy...something I always heard "older folks" say and now this old aunt fully understands. I simply want them to be happy...I know happiness is a choice...we can be happy or not happy...over time I have chosen to be happy and I hope these two fellows learn this lesson as well.
When they were little boys I did hold one key to their happiness. It was the surprise jar. They would come to Rhode Island one weekend a month for years as their Dad was in the Seabee Reserves stationed in Quonset and Newport. This little jar made of pottery with a cork top was the first thing they looked for when they walked through the door. They couldn't wait to pop the top and see if there was a surprise in it. Actually it would be a note that led them on a search of the house till they found their surprise. I didn't have a note in it every time...then it would not have been a surprise. The typical note might read take a right at the hallway door, go ten steps, take a right into the bedroom and look under the bed and there is your surprise. Those two could barely contain themselves as they took off counting and searching. I would buy things their parents would never let them have...that is one of the main reasons I was put on this earth, to buy them things my sister and brother in law would not buy for them...trolls...outfits for the trolls...loads of candy...store bought Sunbeam white bread...Slim Jims...whipped cream in a can to be eaten right out of the can, squirted into your mouth from the long white nozzle - chemicals and all...and the grand daddy of surprise gifts the JUMBO Super Soaker for the vacation to the pond house.
It has been a very long time since I have filled that surprise jar as these two boys are now 29 and 30 years old...initially I thought of giving the surprise jar to Caleb when I heard a baby was on the way and then I knew without a doubt it belonged to Seth...
When I told Seth I had a baby gift for him, he was surprised...good, once again I had him in my clutches! I knew the two brothers would be together at the annual 4th of July party...perfect. I asked they take the box wrapped like a baby shower gift to a quiet place to be opened...off they went to end of the island. They both told me half way through the note inside the card they knew what was in the box.
Because I know them so well...I had a handwritten note inside the jar for one last "surprise"...directions to look to the right, to the left, locate the faux bois planter and find a yellow bag which held their last surprise from me. Now it was Seth's turn to fill the jar. I knew they found their last surprise when I saw them coming back each chomping on a super long Slim Jim with a grin on their faces...some things never change. That makes me happy!
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| Now |
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| Then Please note - each one is holding a troll! |
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| The surprise jar |
Dear
Uncle Seth,
There
is a wonderful sound to the addition of Uncle before your name. This new
title comes with many responsibilities...responsibilities to insure that your
brother's child has a fantastic life that is filled with good times and fun. The
parenting stuff has already been decided but the uncle stuff is all yours!
Being
an aunt and uncle is a strange state of being. Everyone dotes over the
parents which is quite frankly understandable and of course the grandparents
are just over the moon and everyone wants a piece of them as well. But
our role is more subdued and quite frankly underestimated as far as I am
concerned. The aunts and uncles must stand off a bit in the
distance...but while we watch from afar, no one should ever for a moment think
we care less or our love is not up to those in the forefront. We aunts
and uncles come to know our place and live it comfortably and are so thrilled
to get those bits and pieces that come our way.
Seth,
you will learn when to insert yourself and when to back off...when those times
come to be in the thick of things, ride it for all it is worth and believe me
it is worth more than you can ever imagine. A word of advice...don't let
anyone ever diminish your role as an uncle or the depth of your love....don't
ever allow anyone to pull that stuff about who loves more...it is impossible to
compare depths of love...just take comfort, satisfaction and peace of mind in
knowing you love and it is accepted and returned...
Your
parents were very generous with Caleb and you...they shared you without fear of
losing anything and let's face it I think they got more than they bargained
for...my life has been filled with so much and you guys have been their to
experience it all...I can't imagine living my life and all it's ups and downs
without either of you.
Now
your turn has come raging at you, so buckle up baby grab on and let this new
"kid" know how great it is to have an Uncle Seth.
So
this gets to the point of my baby gift to you...what's wrapped in paper and a
bow within this box is going to give you so much pleasure, fun and
laughs...that kid is going to go nuts every time he or she sees it...you will
be in full control when they see it and they get their hands on it. This
item has lots of power, learn to use it wisely...if you can control it's power
you are insured a great time no matter what! You will need to think about
what you are going to do with it especially when you know the little one is
coming over...you will need to decide if it should be put to full use or back
off and let it just sit there and use it the next time...NEVER let it become a
routine or an expected treat...it must always be a surprise!!!!!
This
aunt understands the power of the surprise...now it is your turn Uncle Seth to
keep 'em guessing and on the edge of "peeing" their pants!!!!!
Love, Aunt Beth
So now the surprise jar has a new owner...I am so glad it belongs to Seth and he is soon to become an uncle...I am so glad Caleb is soon to become a father...all is right in that part of my world...
I am happy.
Elizabeth
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